the appalling thing is the fbi without warrants digging through e-mails. >> let me stop you there. there is a sense that if you were in a monogamous relationship and there's an understanding, it's a bad thing to do. >> it is a bad thing to do, but a common thing. if the fbi can kick in your front door if you do that, a lot of people should be nervous. 40% of women and 60% of men have cheated. we talk, monogamy, we are -- we do parabond. we are not sexually monogamous. we are monkeys in shoes. the pressures of monogamy over 30, 40, 50, 60 years, the life of a marriage is unsustainable. a lot of people are unsuccessful at that. we should have not like it's an okay, free to cheat, do whatever you want, you can violate somebody, we shouldn't get a get out after jail free card, but we should have a more subtle and fresh understanding that's hard to sustain over life. some things are more important than sex in a marriage. maybe sex happens once or twice outside of the marriage later in life or over its life. we should turn a blind eye to that. to honor the more important thing, the commi